Guidelines for Taking Up Modesty

My disciplines for this Lent are not modesty-related, but I've had several people approach me this year and last thinking about taking up some form of modesty for Lent. Although this is a little late for your Lenten practice, if you're considering taking up modesty next year or for another reason/season, maybe this will help.

So here we go: basic instructions for taking up modest dressing.
1) Do your research! And start with your own tradition. I know that sounds hypocritical coming from someone who chose to go outside their tradition, but I looked at mine first! It's just about getting to know your options. Many denominations of Christianity have rich traditions of Plain dress, like the Mennonites or the Quakers, and many other Christians have adopted these traditions. Many others have traditions of modesty, such as the Latter Day Saints (Mormons) or the Pentecostal Church and Christians from all walks of life consider head covering. For Muslims, obviously hijab is the main form of modesty, but hijab can mean many things to many people. Jews have tzniut, but that too can vary in what people consider to be modest and so you should check out all your options.
I also encourage (women as well as men) to look at the requirements for male modesty in religion. My Woman once said that the only modesty requirements she ever felt a real connection to were those for Muslim men-- covering naval to knees. For me, I find that I'm compelled to cover my head, but I identify more with why Jewish men cover their heads than why Christian, Muslim or Jewish women cover their heads. In the interest of equal devotion to God, many Reconstructionist or Reform Jewish women will cover their heads with kippahs like the men do.

2) If you are adopting someone else's tradition, be mindful of how you present yourself both to followers of that tradition and outsiders. For instance: is it a good idea to wear a hijab and a mini-skirt when you go out drinking? I don't have the answer there. I can tell you, though, that if the answer is yes, you're going to be explaining yourself to a lot of people.

3) Go shopping! I have to admit, I like this part. :) But it doesn't have to be expensive! If you're going tzniut, check out koshercasual.com, if you're going hijabi, check out alhannah.com. For anything, check out Etsy! And don't forget to check out your local Good Will or second-hand clothes store. But not Salvation Army, please.

4) Do not throw away your old clothes! Unless you have been debating this move for years and years and years, please do not throw away your old clothes. I have a couple of reasons for this. For starters, you never know when you might be able to incorporate your pre-modesty-modest clothes into your new modest get-up. Check out this hijabi mini-skirt idea. Secondly, at least for me, that throw-the-baby-out-with-the-bathwater attitude tends to mean that what I'm getting into is not actually a calling, but a fad. (Tarot cards in your teenage years, anyone?) In that regard, I think keeping your old clothes around gives you a way to ease back into your old life if it is a fad with as little drama as possible. Again, I'm not saying any one practice is always a fad, just that bandwagon-jumping is not modest and if you are looking to practice modesty, one should do as little bandwagon-jumping as possible.

Those are my thoughts for anyone considering a modest dressing path. Questions? Suggestions? I'd love to hear them!

Religious Justifications for Immodesty

So I spend a lot of time on this blog talking about my religious justifications for modesty, but truthfully, I believe that God really just wants us to be humble and not worry about what we wear. (Check out the specs on that here.) Modesty makes sense for me, but it may not make sense for everyone.

Since I feel this way, and since I know many religious people who don't believe in religiously-motivated modesty or believe in what I'll call religiously-motivated immodesty (ie. that God is okay or promotes us wearing things that aren't modest), I feel like I should write about it!

Perhaps one of the biggest argument for religious immodesty is that God, in all God's wisdom, created us naked. Genesis 2:25 "Adam and his wife were both naked, and they felt no shame." The nakedness isn't the sin of Adam and Eve. Neither, mind you, are the clothes, but the clothes are emblematic of the sin: eating from the tree God told them not to eat from was the sin, which resulted in them being ashamed of their nakedness, so they made clothes for themselves.

Let's think about that for a second: our first sin as humans as symbolized by clothes-- God knows we sinned because we came out of it clothed. Forever after that, every (or nearly every) human over the age of, say, 2 wears clothes.

Let's pull back and personify God for a second. (I think that's appropriate because much of Genesis personifies God.) A friend of mine describes Genesis as a love story. And I so agree. God has angels. Why would God create humans? Answer: humans have free will and God wants to love a creature that chooses to love Her. Being loved and praised by creatures that are unable to do anything besides love and praise you isn't nearly as fulfilling as being loved and praised by a creature you gave the free will to turn away from you.

So God orchestrates this beautiful love story, creates humans and gives us stewardship of the whole earth and what do we do? We turn away. The marker of this change in the relationship is that humans now wear clothes. For millennia afterwords, humans continue to wear clothes. Rubbing salt in the wound much? Now, God is infinitely loving, so She has forgiven us this, but it still looks like we're just trying to piss God off, doesn't it? That right there is a fabulous argument not to wear any clothes at all. Of course, generally speaking this is an impractical argument, because most places in the world won't let you be naked.

Now let's talk about Jesus's feelings about clothes.

Jesus denounces even the most splendid of clothes as not as beautiful as what God has created. ("Consider the lilies, how they grow : they neither toil nor spin ; but I tell you, not even Solomon in all his glory clothed himself like one of these" Luke 12:27.)

Jesus continues, "If that is how God clothes the grass of the field, which is here today, and tomorrow is thrown into the fire, how much more will he clothe you—you of little faith!" (Luke 12:28) What I get from this is that we need to relax and not worry about what we wear. What one might get from this is that the "clothes" God has provided for us (our skin, our hair, etc.) are enough and we don't need other adornments.


So there you go. Two basic arguments for religious immodesty.
1) Since clothes are a symbol of our first sin against God, the wearing of them and --worse!-- the fussing over them is a continual reminder to God of our sin.
2) Jesus even told us that what God gave us to cover us should be enough for us, at least in the way of beauty. We could not find any kind of clothes in the world that would make us more beautiful than the way God made us.
Actually, in fairness, these are probably better arguments for religiously motivated nudism, rather than immodesty, but it's what I've got.


Anyone else have thoughts on this to share?

Walk Humbly with Your God

I teach Sunday School to 5th and 6th graders. They are a very intelligent, very energetic group.
Today, we were studying (among other things) Micah 6:8 where God calls on the people, instead of sacrificing oil and animals to Her, to "do justice, love kindness, and walk humbly with your God."

Our activity involved making lists of things people in general and my students in particular could do under the headings of Doing Justice, Loving Kindness and Walking Humbly with God.

Some suggestions I got for Doing Justice were:
Stand Up to Bullies
Put Terry Jones in jail
Protest (Oh, Ann Arbor children)

Some suggestions I got for Loving Kindness were:
Helping children who are lost
Giving people hugs
Not being mean to people

Walking humbly with God was by far the hardest. But I told them about tzniut and how tzniut is based pretty much entirely on that part of this verse (source). Then they got into it and here were some of the suggestions I got:
Do what people tell you
Don't brag
Don't dress in a way that makes people pay attention to you

After this last suggestion, many of the students started to defend why they dressed to attract attention. (I mean, come on, many of them are in junior high and the rest will be soon.) However, one of my (male) students, who I'll call J, said in a remarkably thoughtful way, "I don't usually dress to make people pay attention me..." He paused, and then added, "Except my Converse."

I had to smile-- I loved that he thought dressing not to make people pay attention was important when all of his classmates were arguing against it. I also loved that he was willing to admit that he did wear his Converse shoes sometimes to attract attention! I think God would approve, for sure.

Interviews, Part 3

Emily

Do you have parts of your body that you feel should always be covered (in public)?
Yes.

What are they?
Breasts, stomach, bum, upper thighs.

Do you have parts of your body that you feel should never be covered? What are they?
No, although I show clevage most of the time.

Do you have parts of your body that you feel should be covered/uncovered at certain times?
Yes, when I work, for example, I cover from a few inches below my neck to my knees or below my knees. Also, in church, I generally do the same thing.

Besides what you cover/don’t cover, are there other distinctive ways about how you dress? Please elaborate as best you can.
I dress how I feel that morning. I could decide to wear something very hippie-ish (long skirt, flowy top), or I could wear something casual (jeans, and a t-shirt). My style always changes, but I love bright colors and feminine cuts. In the spring and summer, I wear lots of dresses and wrap skirts. In the fall and winter, I wear lots of jeans and long-sleeved shirts, usually in darker colors. I usually wear lacy underthings, because it makes me feel pretty and sexy, even if my boyfriend is the only other person who sees it.

Describe your typical outfit.
I don't necessarily have a typical outfit, but it usually shows cleavage, and is mildly form fitting.

In an ideal world/social norms notwithstanding, would your typical outfit be different? How?
I would most likely be naked all the time, because I love my skin!

Why do you dress the way you do? Please elaborate as best you can.
Comfort, yes, but I do like to make a statement sometimes, mostly I dress how I feel and I dress to make myself happy.

Do you think everyone should dress the way you do? Why or why not?
No, not at all! The beauty of living in the U.S. is that everyone is different, all styles, all colors, it expresses who we are.

How do you think people respond to your manner of dress?
Depends on the person, but I get compliments from all genders. I think it's less about clothes, and more about confidence.

How would you like people to respond to your manner of dress?
The same way they do now.

Anything you’d like to add that I haven’t already asked?
No, I think you covered everything! (sorry, pun was not intended)

Interviews, Part 2

Erin

Do you have parts of your body that you feel should always be covered (in public)?
Yes.

What are they?
Pretty much from armpits to mid-thigh.

Do you have parts of your body that you feel should never be covered? What are they?
Not really.

Do you have parts of your body that you feel should be covered/uncovered at certain times?
Only in winter (lol). I probably would not wear anything strapless in church, but I don't generally anyway. If I wear a sundress in summer I do usually have a shawl/sweater for the church part of the day (ie if going to a wedding I'll wear the covering in church but remove at reception).

Besides what you cover/don’t cover, are there other distinctive ways about how you dress? Please elaborate as best you can.
I always wear a cross but more for myself than others--a reminder to me of my faith which I will often hold in a moment of prayer. I always wear my wedding and engagement rings (commitment) and only take them off when cooking something I have to knead by hand. I always wear a ring I got in the Badlands when I went on pilgrimage in 2002. In terms of colors I gravitate to what I like (blues, pinks, red). I never wear animal prints or fur.

Describe your typical outfit.
Jean/slacks (no holes, frayed edges, etc).
If casual, T-shirt or long-sleeved shirt (maybe sweater); if professional light sweater, work appropriate shirt (rarely v-necks and if so not deep Vs), handknit socks when possible, birkenstocks almost always. I rarely wear heals unless a formal occasion, but mostly due to foot problems (bunion and Morton's neuroma surgery 5 years ago).

In an ideal world/social norms notwithstanding, would your typical outfit be different? How?
Nope. I dress mostly for comfort.

Why do you dress the way you do? Please elaborate as best you can.
Mostly physical comfort although I have never been comfortable letting breasts/belly/bottom "hang out". Makes me self conscious.

What are the biggest barriers (internal or external) for dressing the way you would like?
None.

What are the biggest blessings about the way you dress?
Easy to launder! I rarely have to iron anything I own. Also my dress is not a distraction for me or others. It lets "me" come through. As a knitter I am also able to wear my art which makes me very proud.

Do you think everyone should dress the way you do? Why or why not?
No way. You should dress in a way you are comfortable. Also, if you religion suggests a standard (such as hijab) I'm fine with that.

How do you think people respond to your manner of dress?
They don't, 'cause I'm a "boring" dresser.

How would you like people to respond to your manner of dress?
Same.

Anything you’d like to add that I haven’t already asked?
I was raised by parents who didn't think it was appropriate to let breasts/belly/butt show and still continue that. I do think that women younger that me who dress to the current more exposed fashion standard can sometimes do themselves a disservice and be taken less seriously especially in professional settings.

Lent is Drawing to a Close: Interviews, Part 1

Okay, so Lent is drawing to a close and I'm trying to figure out what I've gotten out of my Lenten discipline and where I will go from here. I feel like much of it has been a study in what parts of my body I am comfortable showing and why I'm not comfortable showing them. For instance, I've been pretty much always uncomfortable in swim suits and while this is due in part, I am sure, to my own body image issues, I think it is also heavily related to modesty. Some of those parts (stomach, upper thighs) are, for me, between me and God and my Woman. I don't want to show them to everyone and their brother. I think this discipline has liberated me in a way. I feel more comfortable covering what I want to cover, whether or not everyone else does.

It also taught me that everyone has parts of them they think should be covered and parts they think should not be covered, so I decided to interview a bunch of friends for their opinions on clothes. I will do a little series on these with whoever wants to contribute. My questions are in Italics. Their answers have only been minorly edited for comprehension and such.


Grace

Do you have parts of your body that you feel should always be covered (in public)?
What are they?
Pretty much just the naughty parts, boobs, butts, and genitals.

Do you have parts of your body that you feel should never be covered? What are they?
Pretty much just the face. Although I really don't like wearing gloves.

Do you have parts of your body that you feel should be covered/uncovered at certain times?
Everything that hasn't been covered before! Every other part of your body can be covered or uncovered depending on the situation. For instance, what you wear to the beach is different then what you wear to a business meeting.

Besides what you cover/don’t cover, are there other distinctive ways about how you dress? Please elaborate as best you can.
I pretty much wear anything and everything. I do try and pull comfort into the mix. Because I live in SoCal in the desert, it can get hot. I like to wear light fabrics with bold prints, and especially sun dresses. In the winter it gets pretty cold, so layers are key. I also like to look good and feel sexy so some times I put in some extra effort like wearing jewelry, but that is only once in a while. There really is no telling what I will feel like wearing on a day-to-day basis.

Describe your typical outfit.
I have two typical outfits. One is for the week when I am in school. I wear jeans and a teeshirt, or one of my longer dresses. I like to keep my legs down to my knees covered along with my stomach. I make sure that my bra or underwear are not showing and that I am not being provocative. On the weekends, it's a whole other ball game. I wear my SUPER short skirts and dresses, often bear my midriff, and like to show off cute colored bra straps. Even still, I try not to be too racy. I only show off one provocative area at a time (legs, midriff, shoulders/breasts). My goal is to be sexy, not slutty.

In an ideal world/social norms notwithstanding, would your typical outfit be different? How?
I think my typical outfit would be a lot different, especially in the summer time. It gets so hot here, that oftentimes the last thing that I want to do is wear clothing. I think that I would start wearing bathing suits as clothing, or just go completely nude (which I guess isn't a typical outfit).

Why do you dress the way you do? Please elaborate as best you can.
My clothes basically try and find an intersection between comfort and beauty. I want to look hot/sexy/beautiful, but I also want to be able to move in my clothes and feel comfortable. I like finding flirty clothes that aren't too tight or too short or too restricting. Because of this, I love my sun dresses. They are typically about mid-thigh length which is enough to run around in and sit down in without flashing anything inappropriate, but short enough to show off some leg. And because they are dresses, they have a certain amount of style and beauty associated with them.

Do you think everyone should dress the way you do? Why or why not?
I think that people should try and follow some of my guidelines about what to wear and when. I have seen, several times, girls wearing micro mini skirts to class where everyone can see their underwear (or lack thereof). To me, that is just not appropriate. Don't get me wrong, I love the micro mini and if they looked good on me I would have 12 in my closet, but it is for a more informal setting then the classroom. As far as what people wear, I would hate it if everyone dressed like me. I wouldn't be able to stand out with crazy fashion sense or ridiculous shoes. I like everyone wearing different things and expressing who they are.

How do you think people respond to your manner of dress?
I think they think I'm a little crazy sometimes, but overall I don't think people really think about what I wear. I don't wear anything that is overly offensive or different from the norm at my school.

How would you like people to respond to your manner of dress?
Mostly for them to think I look good.

Feminism and Clothes and Orthodox Judaism, Oh My!

This isn't really a real post, but mostly just a giant arrow pointing to Nina's most recent post at alltumbledown.blogspot.com. Check it out here!

Prayer Times

So, when I started this, I figured I'd be most likely to pray when I was hot and sweaty or freezing cold. Truly, though, I pray most when I'm trying to figure out what to wear for the day (or for an event). While I'm flinging things around my room trying to find a shirt, a shell and a skirt (and often a headcovering) that all match, I freak out... and then remember to pray. Often, I'm in such a state that the only thing I can remember to pray is the prayer one of my priests announced in my first Lent as an official Episcopalian: "Lord Jesus Christ, only Son of God, have mercy on me, a sinner." I don't know how common a prayer that is-- but for me it epitomizes my prayers during Lent. I repeat it over and over until slowly I realize that clothes are the least of my worries.

I am dust, after all. My death is looming. And I'm a sinner. Thank goodness I don't have to earn redemption-- I'd never make it. It brings me full force into the reality of how badly I need Christ.

Needless to say, I think every once-in-a-while, my Lenten discipline achieves its goal: I remember that there are things that are much more important than clothes.

Can I be a Modest Feminist?

So, I meant to post this on International Women’s Day, but this took a really long time, mostly because I have so many thoughts! ☺Scroll to the bottom if you need a very short cliffnotes version. Also! If you are a dork like me, feel free to check out my links and add your own!

My Woman, when I started all this up, was very worried about how modesty and feminism fit together. Now, I'm not a feminism scholar, so I don't know all the ins and outs of it, but I am a feminist. (Before you go all Ah!-she's-a-man-eating-lesbian-after-all on me, I'm going to give you 2 quotes to exemplify my feminism.) Rebecca West once said: "I myself have never been able to find out precisely what feminism is: I only know that people call me a feminist whenever I express sentiments that differentiate me from a doormat." Cheris Kramarae and Paula Treichler are quoted as having said, "Feminism is the radical notion that women are people."

There. That is why I'm a feminist. I believe that women are people. But! The feminist ideology is more than that, I think. It's the radical notion that everyone is a person and deserves to be treated as such. This isn't very far from the Christian idea of seeing Christ in everyone and serving Christ in everyone. I am a feminist because I'm a Christian. I see Christ in women. I see Christ in black people. I see Christ in Jews. I see Christ in Muslims. I see Christ in poor people. I see Christ in queer people. I even see Christ in Fred Phelps. With difficulty.


Okay, so that defense of feminism may seem unnecessary --and perhaps it is-- but as I searched around the internet about modesty and feminism, I discovered that pretty much nobody thinks you can be modest and a feminist. Or if they do, it's because they've redefined feminism into something I don't recognize (and even that is rare).

Different Feminists’ Opinions on clothes

So how do feminists view clothes? Well, the answer to that is it depends on who you ask.
One group –that I think of as Old-School Feminists (and, I've found confirmation --and here-- that this is indeed the majority thought of Second Wave Feminism)-- insists that you can’t be a feminist if you wear revealing things. Eg. oneangrygirl.net. Or says that wanting to be sexy and successful is anti-feminist. Eg. fempages.org/femview.htm. The idea was revolutionary at the time-- women didn't have to shave every day or wear make-up to please their men? That kind of clothing made a statement.

Another group (in my social circle, this group is often made up of lesbians, but it is certainly not only queer people) insists you must be willing to march down Main Street naked or you’re uncomfortable with your body. You can find that attitude in this protest and this one. I'm told here and here that this is mostly Third Wave Feminism. The idea was we are sexually liberated and so we should be treated like human beings no matter what we're wearing.

Many of the above get downright obnoxious when someone else claiming to be a feminist supports something that –God forbid-- might be considered modest. (Like this rant about Burkas or this one about "the modesty movement".)

Now, the funny thing is, I like the clothes they offer on oneangrygirl.net and I think blaghag’s boobquake is, at the very least, an interesting social statement, but neither of these groups’ opinions sound like mine. I like looking pretty. But I do have limits to the amount of skin I’ll show. And I’m a feminist, right? Right?

Plain(s)feminist, Naomi Wolf, and a few others would say, "Right." Apparently, this is a sub-genre of Third Wave Feminism called Choice Feminism. There is a middle ground between frump and slut. And it's important that we have that option, they'd add-- even if the fashion industry is out to get women. (Now I sound like my old dietitian who thought the fashion industry was conspiring against women. When I was 16, I thought she was crazy-- now, I think she's right.) We also should have the choice to be modest or the choice to dress sluttily or any combination of the two. Some say it's the beginning of a new Fourth Wave Feminism. Choice or Fourth Wave, it's a minority right now, but you could say that feminists are slowly beginning to understand that clothes don't necessarily make the woman.

Different Modesty Groups’ Opinions on clothes
In order to prove my point: namely, that one can be modest and a feminist, I think I shall have to look at what different proponents of modesty think about clothing. Now, one of these days I’d love to detail all the different rules—from what Mormons think is a modest swimsuit to what hijabis would consider a modest swimsuit—but I don’t have time to do that here. I’d like instead to look at women’s general ideas of why modesty is a good idea and how it should be followed in a more general sense than “These Are The Rules.”

One of the most vocal groups seems to think that dressing modestly protects a woman from the dangerous gaze –and subsequently, actions—of men. I refuse to buy this. (Catholic sources, Pentecostal sources, Muslim sources and many others here and here. I don't know what the name is. Modesty proponents don't have clearly identified "Waves" that they belong to, tragically.)
Things I find wrong with this line of thought:
1) IT’S VICTIM BLAMING!!!! It assumes that if I’m wearing a mini-skirt, I’m less of a person of value than if I’m wearing a maxi-skirt. It actually sounds a lot like oneangrygirl.net’s assertion that you can’t be a feminist if you’re wearing a thong bikini.
2) It implies that men have absolutely no control over their sex drive or their actions. Ok. As someone who is attracted to women, I have to say: I don’t lose all ability to control my actions when a pretty woman walks by. On the rare occasion, I’ll lose my train of thought (okay, maybe it’s more than rare), but I still manage not to rape her… or even to have “impure” thoughts (unless awe is impure). Don’t say it’s because I’m a woman. I assure you, my sex drive functions as well as any straight male. I think we should give our men a little more credit for, you know, control of their actions.
3) It teaches our young women that they are in charge of who they have sex with, which is an ideal to be sure, but it’s not reality. And it leaves rape victims feeling guilty for having somehow caused it.
4) It teaches our young men that any woman who is dressed like X wants to have sex with them, no matter what she actually says, so “no means no” gets a lot more complicated.

I don’t think this one can be feminist, but feel free to argue with me!

Other reasons people advocate modesty are as:

• A sign to ourselves that we value our bodies, according to this Jewish website and this Muslim one.
• I like this one—sometimes I really need a reminder that I (and my Woman and my God) value my body. While not my primary goal for my Lenten discipline, I see this as a side-effec that could be almost an antidote for the giving-up-food aspect of Lent.
 
• A sign of our devotion to God or so saith both Quaker Jane and another blog.
• I like this one too, although I worry about it. For people who work very hard on their humility, this is probably a wonderful thing. Quaker Jane describes elsewhere on her site how she get asked about religion by total strangers. While being publicly devoted to God does encourage you to act in a way that would represent God well (I personally think this involves being kind to other people and holding hands with my Woman), it also is a fine line to walk in Christianity. I actually think it was our Ash Wednesday reading where Jesus says don’t pray in public (check out Matthew 6:1-6:20), because God sees in secret and rewards what we do in secret. When I do public acts of religiosity, I definitely worry about being a hypocrite like Jesus talks about in this passage. I guess it is all about the spirit in which you undertake these endeavors. And I’m still working on that—I think it’s a work in progress for everyone.
 
• A sign of belonging to a particular religion, according to Quaker Jane again, a Muslim website and an interview with Muslim hijabis.
• I’m not sure how I feel about this, although it seems inevitable if you’re wearing a style of modesty that is denomination-specific. I think my worry about it would go back to Matthew 6—why do I want to advertize that I belong to this faith? But I definitely think it would keep you on your toes as far as acceptable behavior goes.
 
• To glorify God. At least according to the Mormons and these Catholics.
• If you believe God requires it, this is a pretty straightforward answer.

Are these contradictory?
Well, here’s a radical concept:
Neither feminism nor modesty is really about what you wear!

Feminism is about believing that all people have the right to be treated like people. Modesty (at it’s best, in my opinion) is about valuing our bodies, showing our devotion and honoring God.

I don’t think those are contradictory!

Need a cliffnotes version of all of this? Both feminists and modesty proponents need to get over themselves. Not all feminists look the same and not all modesty proponents think the same, but one can still be a feminist and modest. I guess this makes me a Fourth Wave Feminist, huh? Let's get the revolution started!

I, and Hafiz, think God is pretty ok with drag

I knew I couldn't have been the first person to have thought of this.

Corroboration of the idea that "We are born naked and the rest is drag" by a suffi poet, Hafiz.
The Sun in Drag, by Hafiz

You are the sun in drag.
You are God hiding from yourself.
Remove all the “mine” – that is the veil.
Why ever worry about
Anything?
Listen to what your friend Hafiz
Knows for certain:
The appearance of this world
Is a Magi’s brilliant trick, though its affairs are
Nothing into nothing.
You are a divine elephant with amnesia
Trying to live in an ant
Hole.
Sweetheart, O sweetheart
You are God in
Drag!

What God Wants Me to Wear, Part 2

Okay, so there's a line in scripture (Deut. 22:5) that says: "A woman shall not wear anything that pertains to a man, nor shall a man put on a woman’s garment, for all who do so are an abomination to the Lord your God." This is oft-quoted as why tzniut women should not wear pants. I believe a good handful of other religious groups follow this as well (think Mennonites, Seventh-Day Adventists, etc).

Yeah... but Jesus says: (in Matthew 6:28-32) "Why do you worry about clothing? Consider the lilies of the field, how they grow: they neither toil nor spin; and yet I say to you that even Solomon in all his glory was not arrayed like one of these. Now if God so clothes the grass of the field, which today is here, and tomorrow is thrown into the oven, will He not much more clothe you, O you of little faith?

 Therefore do not worry, saying, "What shall we eat?' or "What shall we drink?' or "What shall we wear?' For the Gentiles run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them."

Jesus asks us why we worry about what we wear. I feel like the clueless disciples. "Well, uh, Jesus, we're pretty sure God told us to..." But Jesus is presenting us with this idea that maybe we're wrong.

So how did we go from God-vehemently-hates-women-wearing-pants-and-men-wearing-skirts to God-says-don't-worry-about-your-clothes?

Let's look back at the Deuteronomy quote. I'm going to interpret it as the Bible saying God doesn't want us to dress in drag. In analyzing this interesting piece of scripture, I'm going to quote well-known theologian :) RuPaul, who says, "We're born naked. The rest is drag." Therefore, I'm going to extrapolate that God doesn't want us clothed. This actually might not be that far off. God created us naked and then we Fell. We Fell and were ashamed of the beautiful bodies God gave us, so we decided we needed to cover them up. If I made a masterpiece of a sculpture and gave it to you and you decided to put a blanket over it, I'd be pissed. I wonder if that's how God feels. Looking at it that way, maybe my Lenten discipline shouldn't be to follow more strict rules about clothing, but not to wear clothing at all. Unfortunately, I think that's illegal. So, I guess we should continue the analysis.

Short of moving to a nudist colony, I have to wear clothes sometimes. What does God say about that? Well, let's check out Matthew 6:32 again. "The Gentiles run after all these things and your heavenly Father knows you need them." To me, that sounds like God sighing and saying, "Wear clothes if you must, but don't fuss about them, okay guys?"

Oops. Amn't I doing just that? Worrying about my clothes? Then I should tread very lightly on this Lenten discipline of mine. The last thing I'd want is to turn worrying about my clothes into some kind of idol. The goal is wear these clothes and any time I'm about to worry or fuss about them, I pray. And maybe God is just shaking God's head at all this BUT, I sometimes think God must shake Her head throughout all of Lent-- like, hey guys, I gave you food, why are you ignoring it? Hey guys, you've got enough suffering on this earth, why are you inducing more of it for yourself? Who knows? If I'm wrong (and at least part of me has to be wrong, since I'm thinking conflicting things), I imagine God is just giggling and patting me on the head and murmuring, "It's okay, darling," as I fuss.

What God Wants Me to Wear, Part 1

Okay so, Orthodox Jews, Muslims, Amish, Mennonites, Mormons, Fundamentalist Mormons, Catholics (that's approximately 2,339,803,500 people)... everybody thinks God has an opinion on what I wear. Many of them disagree about the specifics, but all those people think God is pro-dress-code. This makes me wonder, does God care what I wear? So, in the next couple of posts, I'm going to look at the rationale behind religiously-motivated dress codes and re-think some of my own ideas about God and clothing.


One of the reasons I picked tzniut (versus, say, following Muslim dress code rules or Mormon dress code ruels) is because of the reasoning behind it. Of course, they have the obligatory women-should-cover-up-so-men-don't-succumb-to-temptation clause (more on that another time). However, they also say that the reason there are clothing rules for b'nei Ysrael (children of Israel) and there aren't for b'nei Noach (children of Noah-- ie. the rest of us), is because Jewish people, as God's chosen people, should be dressed like royalty. I like that, but it runs contrary to many other beliefs about clothing and religion.

Often, the goal of Christian modesty rules, at least as far as I can tell, is so girls and women don't draw attention to themselves. Hence why many denominations insist their women dress the same way. I've never bought this explanation. Of course, that's certainly one way to learn humility, but it's always rubbed me the wrong way. God made us unique for a reason. We all stand out in God's eyes, don't we? So I think if we're trying to "blend in" it ends up being more about shame than humility. Shame about our bodies brings us back to the Fall-- Adam and Eve at the fruit from the tree of the Knowledge of Good and Evil and their eyes were opened, they saw they were naked and they were ashamed. That shame about our bodies was the first result of our Fall. I don't think Christianity should aim to replicate that in it's clothing.

So what about this "royalty" concept?
This reminds me of when I was writing health curricula.One of my tasks was to create a lesson about sexual abuse/"where no one has the right to touch us"/Good Touch-Bad Touch. Well, we know the Good Touch-Bad Touch curriculum  was a failure. If you have any doubts about this, feel free to ask my Woman-- she'll tell you about how some of the 5th and 6th graders at the summer camp she worked at last year developed a game called Bad Touch Tag.
So I was looking for better models than that and I found a lesson from a Christian curriculum that I liked. The day before, you asked the children to bring in an object that was valuable to them. When they brought it in, everyone had the chance to show it off in front of the class. Then, you asked questions like, "Do any of you keep these in a special place?", "Do you only take these out on certain days or for certain things?" and finally, "Are only certain people allowed to touch these?" After that last question, ask them why. Maybe prompt them with an example: Ask if anyone has a younger sibling. Pick someone and ask, "[Annie] is your [sister] allowed to [wear] your [locket]?" When the answer is no ask why. Inevitably, you will hear at least somewhere in this something like, "Because it's mine and it's special to me." Then you say: "Our bodies are like that. Our bodies belong to us and God and they are special to God." You go on from there about the who/where/how/when of touching.

Maybe, this dressing like royalty is simply a way of saying, "My body belongs to me and God and it is special to God." Just like Annie might keep her locket in a special compartment in her jewelry box, I'd keep my body in special clothes, be they tzniut or hijab or temple garments or what-have-you. Does that make any sense?